Who has not heard the phrase: “If you need to use a condom, then you do not trust me!”, or the hilarious “Let’s do it natural, only this time”? If you have any concerns of having sex without a condom, no matter how serious the relationship, that is so fine! You have to worry, because even when you trust your partner, you have to trust all his ex-partners as well. Even then, there are so many X and Y about your health condition that it does not worth it to risk everything. Better be prepared to react to most common pretexts for not using a condom. Moreover, most of the pretexts are nothing but excuses that rely on myths. Be sure that you are the one who starts the conversation with strong arguments about contraception, not that you wait to lite up and then spoil the moment. Besides, the one who brings the subject is usually more confident.
PRETEXT: You’re taking pills. We don’t need additionally a condom.
ARGUMENT: Pills don’t protect us against STIs. And we might not even know we have some.”
PRETEXT: Let’s do it natural, just this time, please?
ARGUMENT: Once is all it takes to get an STI or get pregnant.
PRETEXT: It doesn’t feel that real when I wear one.
ARGUMENT: Some new condoms actually make sex feel better for both of us. And we can relax because we won’t be worried about STIs, or pregnancy, if we use a latex condom.
PRETEXT: I don’t have one with me.
ARGUMENT: I do. / Then let’s not take the risk! / Let’s go buy some and play with different types.
PRETEXT: I feel embarrassed when buying, carrying and using condoms.
ARGUMENT: It’s much more embarrassing to get or pass on an STI. Besides, if we’re too embarrassed to deal with condoms, then we’re probably not ready to deal with sex anyway.
PRETEXT: You are a woman/man, you have to protect yourself. It’s your decision.
ARGUMENT: The issue is about our health for both of us. It’s both our futures. It’s both our bodies. It’s both our decisions. We have to protect ourselves.
PRETEXT: Look! I don’t have any infections!
ARGUMENT: People who have an STD do not necessarily show any symptoms of being infected.
PRETEXT: I’ll lose my erection when I stop to put the condom on.
ARGUMENT: I’ll help you put it on. You will like this, I promise.
PRETEXT: You carry a condom around with you?
ARGUMENT: I always carry one, because I care about my health. I have one tonight, because I care about us both.
PRETEXT: We’ve already done it without one.
ARGUMENT: Yes and that was a mistake. Let’s be smart and not repeat it.
PRETEXT: I’m afraid to ask him/her to use a condom.
ARGUMENT: If you can’t ask him/her, you probably don’t trust him/her.
PRETEXT: He/She will think I don’t trust him/her.
ARGUMENT: Conversation about sex and contraceptives shows maturity and care about your relationship.
PRETEXT: The clerk will know I am going to be having S-E-X!
ARGUMENT: You can just buy condoms online without ever having to face anyone.
PRETEXT: The price is too big to buy condoms for every sex act.
ARGUMENT: Condoms cost less than 3 dollars per package of 3 and they cost less than STD testing and treatment. And a lot less than raising a baby, too.
It looks like an awkward subject to bring up, but talking about sex is mature, can be sexy and you can try some funny phrases, such as “No Glove, No Love” to “Wrap it up or pack it up.”